As I sit here, at 1:40 in the morning, unable to sleep for the first time in forever, I am looking at everybody's Facebook pages & pictures and my mind is restless. I cannot help but think everyone is passing me by & I am completely & utterly standing still. So many things are running through my mind right now. 

-- Am I a failure because I took a little time off from school? 

-- Should I be more worried about not being with someone? 

-- Should I really be wasting all of my time working my life away at a terrible job that I absolutely cannot stand? 

-- Should I quit? 

-- Is my Premier Designs business going to keep flourishing? 

-- Should I have stayed in El Paso longer? 

-- Should I just get my teaching degree instead of going to cosmetology school?

-- Why is EVERYONE getting married &/or having kids?

-- Am I wrong for not WANTING to do that stuff right now?

I am literally DREADING going to work at 11 tomorrow. That may sound lazy, but really, working with food is not getting me ANYWHERE. I have to deal with people's orders & they do not like it when I THEY are wrong. It frustrates me to no end! I am determined to find a new job. I HAVE to put applications in everywhere. I just feel like working at Sonic for 4 years+ is PLENTY. It's time for me to move on. Even if i have to deal with people in retail, I feel like it would be tons better than working at Sonic. Then again, I may just be a naive 20 year old who doesn't know what she is talking about. I feel so lost right now, like I have nobody to turn to to talk to about this stuff, because everybody has a different opinion. It really has come down to what my heart is telling me to do. I pray that I will get peace about this before I actually do it. Sonic is my first legit job & it is so hard for me to leave it behind ( I know how retarded that sounds, but it's true.) I guess I will blog some more tomorrow... Gotta get some rest for the good ole Sonic Drive-In tomorrow. :[